Amazing Grace

Last week, our four year old was taken from our front yard by a mentally unstable man, who had just stabbed one of my neighbors. As you can imagine, moments of sheer terror ensued and a parent’s “worst nightmare” was our reality. Calling your child’s name at the top of your lungs, while simultaneously wanting to drop to the ground because you can barely breathe, is a feeling I’ll never forget. I immediately began thinking that if we didn’t find her quickly, we’d probably never see her again.

In God’s absolute grace, our daughter, Gracie, was quickly brought back to us, physically unharmed. As days have gone by since the incident occurred, however, we are beginning to see the emotional toll this has taken on her and our entire family.

I’ve been asked so many times since the incident, “How are you doing with everything?” and my answer changes continually. Initially, there was just shock; pure and utter disbelief, evidenced by anxious moments that felt as though adrenaline would pour out of every orifice in my body. In those moments, God would remind me of his nearness. Every.single.time. Not for one moment of this ordeal have I felt abandoned by the Lord. These trials he allows in our lives are not always understood, but we can recognize God’s hand in them. Isaiah 26:3-4 says, You will keep in perfect peace him whose heart is steadfast because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord is the rock eternal! These words are like healing balm to my anxious heart. And I play them like a cd on repeat in my brain, praying for God’s peace when fear wants to claim its space.

Another moment, I feel so sad that such a violation occurred in my own front yard. “Stay close to me, Mommy. I don’t want to get taken again”, I heard the other day as we walked out the front door to ride bikes and scooters in our cul-de-sac; a place we’ve always felt nothing but safe in. My heart broke when she said those words, because now I know that when she steps out the door she’s thinking about him and she’s terrified he will grab her again. As a mother, you want to say, “Don’t worry honey, that won’t happen again.” But you can’t. So, like our friend and counselor guided us, we must not say things that we can’t actually control, so, I tried to hide my tears, then hugged her and said, “Don’t worry honey, Mommy is right here with you.”

I’ve told several friends that I believe that safety is just an illusion. Sure, we can lock our doors and even get a security system so we sleep better at night. But, I truly believe that nothing happens to us that isn’t first, filtered through God hands. Years ago, as my husband and I struggled through a significant diagnosis, we searched the scripture and found Job, who too, was being tested. This past year has been so difficult, I don’t know how else to describe it. At times we want to just blame evil for all of our misfortune, but in reality, God is on his throne giving permission, because we belong to Him. I don’t say those words lightly. I believe that I say them through a heart that has experienced great pain and simultaneous comfort from the Lord.

As I woke this past week aching over the way this has affected our family, Psalm 34:18 began running through my mind. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Isn’t it like the Lord to comfort us with the words our souls most need to hear? I knew in that moment that He was reminding me again of his nearness as I grieve-and it’s ok to grieve. It’s been a hard couple of weeks. I see panic in every one of us if for a split second we can’t find one another-even in our house. My husband and I both admit to how vulnerable and helpless we feel and our children have been piling in the same bed to sleep every night. I have chest pains when I think about what happened and I cry spontaneously. It’s hard. It occupies most of my thoughts and we all are trying to process this trauma.

More than anything though, we feel overwhelmed with God’s graciousness to us.

Grace.

There’s just no other word that encompasses what happened here.

 

 

About shannalehr

My name is Shanna Lehr. I'm blessed to be the wife of Scott Lehr and mother to Ella, Ava, Janie and Gracie Belle. I love to cook, travel, run, and spend time with my family. My life has been changed by Jesus and I love to share him with others. Stop back often and join the conversation by leaving a comment. I love to hear from you! You can connect with me on Twitter: @ShannaLehr
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20 Responses to Amazing Grace

  1. Kristine Kerr says:

    Thanks Shanna for sharing that truth. We need to remind ourselves that God cares for us and is in control when our life is not.

  2. Shauna Mote says:

    Shanna, I too am thankful for the grace God has shown your family! I can’t even begin to understand the vulnerability you now feel. I pray that you would feel your Loving Father’s arms of protection around your family and that you would know His peace. Much love to you!

  3. Carmen Rodriguez says:

    A thought occurred to me as I read this and I pray I state it correctly. For a moment, Gracie (Grace) was attempted tp be take from you both, but as she was returned it’s a reminder that grace is always with us. I pray over all my church family (past, present, future, persecuted, imprisoned) and I am so grateful to God that he is so gracious with answered prayer even when we don’t know what is going on.Hugs and love.

  4. So many tears just now…thank you for sharing this. I’m so sorry it happened. Still. And yet–Jesus, your nearness is to us our good. Am praying for the little sweeties each night. Love to you all…Ang

  5. Gil and Kerrie Humphreys says:

    Having God in your life is priceless! We will continue to pray for your family. God is good and He will continue to be your Guide and Protector. You
    are great parents to continue to train your children to walk with God. The thought that one day you all will be standing together in Heaven is a beautiful thought. Many prayers and hugs are sent your way.

  6. PTSD is hard enough for adults – can’t imagine what it’s like for kids. So glad that she’s not only being taught things about Gid, but that she has you guys so she can see firsthand what trusting Jesus looks like. Praying for y’all.

  7. Linda Smith says:

    All I can say is God is good all the time, all the time God is good!! Praise Him for ever for restoring to you and Scott your Gracie Belle. Praying for you and your family.

  8. Linda Smith says:

    Thank you Shanna for sharing this. My heart was so touched by your words, you never gave up on God. Praise him forever for restoring to you and Scott your Gracie Belle. I will continue to pray for your family as you guys strive to retain a sense of normancy in your life again.

  9. Terrye Johnson says:

    Shanna I just read your blog and it is beautifully written from the heart! I know God will use this to serve others and you bring Him so much glory by trusting Him in the storm.

  10. Praise God for bringing your daughter back and safe. I’ve been praying for the entire family

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