I was lied to last night.
I fell deep into the flowing words, captivated by how they confirmed what hid deep in the crevices of my heart. As they went on, I sunk deeper and deeper, falling into moments of despair and even moments of anger.
The details of what I was being lied to about aren’t even the important part. Probably what’s more important is recognizing that we are all at times, the prey.
I was the prey last night.
As the Bible describes Satan, the enemy of God, he is described with words like, “a lion, who prowls around seeking whom he may devour”, or as an “angel of light” who deceives. John 8 tells us that he’s been a murderer from the beginning and he is a liar, speaking his native language.
I have to believe that he also speaks our native language, because truthfully, I heard him loud and clear last night, with so many bits of truth and so many twists on that truth.
As the night went on, alone in my bed, without even the possibility of going to sleep any time soon, I realized how the Enemy likes to attack: when we are alone.
It felt as though I was being pummeled as item after item was brought up, on what apparently was the “hidden thoughts of my mind” kind of list.
Every fear, every disappointment, and even, every insecurity, seemed to hit me in the face and I was shaken.
I wish I could tell you that I quickly began saying scripture to combat these lies. I wish I could tell you that as I prayed, the lies disappeared, but they did not.
I began to question the Lord about these struggles. Why would he allow ______? Why when we __________, would he allow this?
I’m thankful that he’s not afraid of my questions. Instead, he lovingly directs me.
After what seemed like hours, I finally fell asleep, only to waken with a raw heart and a tired mind.
It was time to get up for church. I began getting ready and more lies began to pour in.
This was an all out battle. I wanted to cry and tell my husband, but as a pastor’s wife, I’ve learned that timing is key. And just before my husband was about to preach a powerful message in a new series, wasn’t the time to “unload”. This one was simply mine and the Lord’s to work out.
As I packed my children into the car to head to church, I began what has become an every week routine. I prayed, out loud for them, for me, for our church, and for my husband. Today, I just kept on praying and God began to heal my heart of the wounds of last night. I couldn’t wait to arrive at my church so that I could sit in the service and hear worship songs filled with all kinds of God’s truth. My heart needed it more than ever.
The band began to play and word after word that they sang felt like healing salve.
Holy, holy, holy, though the darkness hide thee….
At your name, the morning breaks in glory….
It was as if they knew the night I had just had and how very much I longed to see the sun.
Over and over God’s truth was shared through my church family and our worship team. As they opened their mouths proclaiming this truth, I felt the Lord remind me of his love for me. He has not forgotten. He hasn’t missed a thing. All of this is part of his plan.
Sometimes, we just really need to be reminded. As my husband got up to preach, God spoke through him as well. I’m so thankful that hard truth-but real truth- is always taught at Southbridge Fellowship. Oh what a gift it is!!
Tonight, I still feel a little raw, but thought I would share this very personal experience with you, because I know that I’m not alone in hearing lies. The Enemy so badly wants to discourage us and make us feel helplessly alone. I realized how very important it is to cling to the truth, especially when you’ve been lied to.